They say money is the root of all evil.

Shopping must be redemption then.

-cw

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9:07 AM

So I was coerced into posting my resolutions for all to see...

1) SCORE! (with the chicks, and in As too)

2) Thrash Isaac in DotA (Oh wait, been there, done that)

2) Have The Elitist Column beat DW's blog in readership. It's high time we put up some nudes of myself and brando ala hunky dwayne. *In Isaac voice "Eh budden how we up the female readership ah?"

3) I'd venture to include "get laid", but it'd prolly have to stay for the next decade or so.

4) Contrary to Ashish's hairy issues, CW is chronically devoid of all hirsute protrusions on the face and would DEARLY LOVE SOME FROM SANTA, PLEASE. His other appendages are, however, unimpeded in their proliferate elongation and are available for viewing upon request.

5) Watch Santa's Slay again. Scratch that, let's have the best movie of the year on uninterrupted replay on every channel for a year.

6) WORLD PEACE (so NS can be abolished)

7) Complete this entry...

8)

But the one thing I most yearn for this year is to meet up more with the mobes. Whatever happened to the MIA chalet? I'm suffering from a severe fruit-deficiency which might (GASP!) potentially lead to straightness. Don't say I didn't warn you guys.

-cw out

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5:58 AM

Tomorrow’s News Today! Issue 15/10/05

Beware the NJ Spirit

Breaking news! The NJ Spirit has captured the hearts of thousands of hopeful potential academics. Experts worldwide puzzling over this strange phenomenon are attributing it to a series of inexplicably hypnotic events which took place yesterday in the NJC campus. It is suspected that the phantom was invoked by these annual rites performed by the already-possessed residential students.

The epochal day started with a seemingly innocuous introduction to the new A-level syllabus, aptly conducted at NJC’s center of activity – The Library. From 1000hrs to 1500 hrs, the victims received counsel on choosing their H1s, H2s and H3s, all the while oblivious to the fate that awaits them thereafter.

At 1130hrs to 1200hrs and 1330hrs to 1400hrs, in LT5, the initiates-to-be were introduced to the great leader of this conclave. Mrs. Virginia Cheng, Principal of NJC, allayed all their doubts and slaked their curiosity about the school while relating the euphoria of experiencing the NJ spirit. The prospecting students could hardly resist this barrage of tantalizing overtures offered by the institution.

Their resolve was further tested when the Art department, following up on the success of Mrs. Cheng, showcased their bountiful talents. A king’s hoard of adroitly crafted artifacts were utilized in an exhibition to lure in the unsuspecting. It was indeed impossible for these helplessly gaping thralls to pass on the offer to join the elite corps of the Art Elective Programme.

The last straw came at the lucky dip, held directly after the lambs’ visual assailing by the mesmerizing aesthetic display. The material bounty earned by the winners are but icing on the metaphorical cake of rewards that they can expect from the NJC brand of education.

Groups of devotees sashayed and flaunted their curves (and curved swords) in an effort to inspire unmitigated loyalty in the awed audience, while others employed the titillating sound of musical seduction. From 1030hrs to 1115hrs at the Linkway, the congregation was entranced by an explosion of entertainment by the Western Dancers, Harmonica Society, Angklung Group, Guitar Ensemble, Chinese Orchestra and Malay Dancers. Again at 1215hrs till 1315hrs, they were mercilessly bewitched by the captivating performances put up by the Indian Dancers, String Orchestra, Wushu Troupe, Guzheng Ensemble, Choir Sirens, Chinese Dancers and Symphonic Band.

Throughout all these happenings, the Hall was host to a nest of bustling activities as neophytes were enticed into being contracted to the myriad Co-Curricular Activities available.

In the aftermath of this supernatural occurrence, the outwardly-nonchalant attendees have all been infused with an aspiration to be part of this great family. Researchers estimate this covert seed planted in them yesterday to re-emerge with full force in the year 2006 in the next initiation rites where they will be further schooled in the ways of Service with Honour, Scholarship with Creativity, Leadership with Sensitivity, and Loyalty with Integrity.

The NJ Spirit has long been regarded the most potent of all school eidolons. The public is thus advised to either embrace it or miss out on all the fun.


Written By:
Ng Cheng Wei


Yes I wrote it. And it got rejected at the last censor. Bleh! Stinkin' NJ prudes...

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1:11 AM

Of Nationalist Takeover, or Grayshit Defecates On Your Blog!, or Short On Talent, Long On...


Muahaha! I co-own this gym blog now. Michelle! Go show them what we've got!

Your's truly has had the grave misfortune of clicking the wrong button at the pivotal paejaefriggindoo. (Twice. Ah the curvacious "n"... Fie on thee! Vile seductress!)

Enough about The Hottest Guy In The World. Suffice to say that NJ hasn't been my cup of tea (Or Tequilla Suicide, or Flaming Lamborghini, or Waterfall, or Gin and Tonic, or Redbull Vodka... ).

This opus should've interpolated all 4 top JCs, but there's no way in hell we're gonna sanction (and hence de-sanctify) the HCian's blogging in Chinese. That'd just be way uncool.

Anyway, sorry gav, deleted your load of faecal matter. It's not that I don't concur. It's because brandon told me to. It's just that your blog-slamming, having its menial existence on a blog, defeats its purpose (and our purpose). And there's no need to announce to the world our little altercation is there? *NewsFlash: Gavin is now in hospital nursing near-fatal injuries* Talk about getting into a load of proverbial shit. RIP gav.

After gavin's fatal defenestration regrettable resignation, we find our fraternity lacking an RJ affiliate. Fret not! (or, quoting CW's favourite h2g2, don't panic!) *hint hint* 4.10 has our own residential celebrity blogger of hunky proportions.

So hold your breath and watch this space! (But don't sue us if you asphyxiate. We just lost our lawyer's progeny.)


CW Graying Out...

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10:06 PM